A Big Pile of Shit

With digital storage profuse in capacity, America's reliance on physical multi-media continues to decline. And living spaces are the better for it.

DVD and CD have long since matured. It's supposed evolution to multi-platform high definition was met earlier this year with a swift market kill of HD-DVD. Blu-ray remains suspect for long term viability. Most pundits predict a short shelf life.

Component audio and video has also been streamlined. Manufacturers have eliminated the need for stack devices, replacing them with slim design high def TVs, a 5.1 single speaker, and entertainment on Demand. Consumers no longer worry about compatibility between product or how to hide wire. (Quick hint: if you can't go behind the wall, go below it. The crack between carpet and frame is just enough to fit those surround sound cables.)

Let's face it. Modern design, in all it's glorious simplicity, could never co-habitate with mass media clutter. Title spines alone are far too distracting for compliment. All that varying color and typeface. Who the fuck wants to look at that.

With technology, the epidemic has been contained. But it remains potent enough for society to take seriously. Consider this guy. Here is a classic case of a completist blinded by disc and neglectful to human relation. He who favors the remote control. This isn't critique, it's empathy.

I've been there. I know the risks. I once bought Heartbreakers because it was the only new release that Tuesday. Rarely does this story end well. Most of the time you're left lonely, overweight, and with one too many versions of Star Wars. Your girlfriend left a long time ago when you decided to add that 12-inch Bobba Fett to the top shelf. To draw more attention.

Want out of this nightmare? Here's what to do...

Get yourself a 200 capacity, sleek leather carrying case and two contemporary looking towers with no more than five shelves each. Not even the biggest film snob needs more than 200 movies. Keep all your Criterion, that's going on the shelf. As are the Scorsese films, and complete seasons of the Sopranos, the Wire, and Six Feet Under. Maybe there's room for a bit more. Decorate a middle shelf (just one) with cool looking box sets. Preferably epic trilogies. The Godfather, Lord of the Rings, and the Matrix will do just fine. Remember to leave open shelves between media. You're gonna need that space for pictures, candles, or some kind of mini-art sculpture shit. It's up to you. Be creative, but be sparse.

Empty the remaining discs from their packaging and put them in the leather case. Throw away the packaging. This is easier than you think. Consolidating a collection in excess of 1,000 titles to 200 can be done. Most of that shit is just repackaging of the same movie anyway.

Sell all the movies you're not keeping on eBay. Or if you're lazy, take it to a second hand book store. You won't get much, but this ain't about the money. It's about freedom from material. It's giving your interior, space to breathe. Excess is the dilemma of our times. We must stop accumulating and start rationing.

Take my advice, there is always room for less.